This is what the job posts lately seem like - TiredMT

Every time I look to see what's out there, as far as job requirements it seems to get worse and worse.  I just wanted to put something up here which is what this all reminds me of... thank you for putting up with my sick humor...  Here's what I think when I read jost postings:

WANTED:  MT!!!!  This job is For YOU!  Why wait in the cold outside, freezing in your home which is a box under the highway when you can bask in the warmth of our SWEAT SHOP!!!

Yes! We give you all you need!!! Unlimited hours of sitting at your computer which you must pay for, and your broad band which you must pay for as well, and all of those great bells and whistles required for you to pay for on your brand new computer and home office which we require so that you can get our job!!!

NO NEWBIES.  Only people with enough experience to get the job done at the lowest rate possible and people with little enough experience so we can pull the WOOL OVER YOUR EYES may apply and be accepted! YES THE WOOL!  Think of how warm it will keep you!!! You have been freezing under that highway in that box which does not have heat!? Well we will TURN ON THE HEAT FOR YOU!

Act now and for 19.99 we will accept your resume, make you type at least 10 files so that we can have enough people paying to type files that we will submit to our clients and we will look GREAT for reaching turn around time while not having to pay those hired already!

 And just think how this will boost your self-esteem! You can tell all your friends you TESTED FOR US!!!  Warning:  Don't worry if you don't hear from us.  We have so many resumes and tests to farm out er grade that we may send you a canned e mail letting you know you tested... or not. 

But now for those lucky people who GET THE JOB... We PROMISE a great line rate (3 cpl per speech recognition which is all the work you can handle except if you make a typo then you get to type it for FREE)... and for those of you who like straight transcription  why we offer you experts a whopping 0.05 cpl per 100 characters no spaces included.  Just think, you can sit by  your computer which you paid for all day long up to 12 hours a day, 13 if you'd like, and wait for work to pile in.  Remember the longer you wait, the longer you get to people you have a JOB!!!  Don't worry about the lack of paycheck, you have a job as an MT AND you have a new computer which is the best!

Apply NOW!  The sign on bonus of 1000.00 won't last, and neither will your benefits!! Because too many people are signing up to take our test, and we won't have time to make sure whether or not you meet the minimum requirements for any bonus or benefits... to even finally get them... but that's a benefit in itself...that's one less thing we, er you have to worry about!

Looking forward to working with you soon!

(restrictions apply).