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entitled teens/drama queens - anothermt

Posted: Sep 1st, 2018 - 2:30 am In Reply to: Vent: So tired of all the drama queen entitled teens - wanting to end their life over SM

I worked for a child psychologist for years in the office and watched many troubled kids and teens come through. There are so many different scenarios. Sometimes, parents just aren't equipped to deal with children with behavioral issues. Sometimes, behavioral issues are secondary to hard-wiring in the brain (I really believe this). Sometimes, parents are busy with work, etc, and miss little signs. The psychologist was behavioral and had less "touchy-feely" suggestions as opposed to "behaving." For completely recalcitrant teens, he advocated Outward Bound. I asked once how you get a kid who doesn't want to do that to go. He said, "Oh, they have orderlies who come get them if that's the case." He always reminded me that I was the parent, he was adamant about that, that I take control, that I limit accessibility to people and situations that I disagreed with (and, yes, I had a 13-year-old son on the cusp of all the most stupid decisions and wrong choices), that I get to say yes or no to everything, that I could and should monitor everything that kid did. He told me, and I still agree, as a young teen, they want MORE freedom, more choices to make decisions, when what they need is LESS. The doctor even told me to change his dress code if it suggested a life style I didn't like (so, off came the low-lying baseball hat, the jeans got smaller and fit around his waist and not below his arse, etc, etc, no aggressive or illegal stuff on his T-shirts), and no hanging out with gang-like friends. I followed the psychologist's advice for my own son, monitored his behavior, I volunteered at the school, I checked his school work, checked in with his teachers, watched his after school activities, his friends, his free time, even looked through his wallet, told him "NOOOO" in no uncertain terms more than once and stayed stubborn 5 seconds longer than him. (I will say, as parents, we were always involved in his life, his friends and sports from the time he was 6 and on, etc, but slacked off when he hit middle school in terms of free time). He HATED me at times, I'm sure. And he really didn't have any psych diagnoses, and there are a number, such as oppositional defiant disorder which is a bear to treat and manage. But...he's healthy, an adult, has 2 daughters and watches them both like a hawk.

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