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M*Modal

Things can get better - irritatedMT

Posted: May 6th, 2018 - 6:17 pm In Reply to: The big M finally broke me - x

I worked for N. I'm almost 51 years old, my dad suffered a medical error in November that left him paralyzed and us w/o his income (he lives with me and my son), and N was laying people off left and right. When my dad came home, I had to be home to care for him. I couldn't leave him alone for 8 hours a day. But as he started gaining strength and could mobilize w/o me being terrified of the results, I started scouring every website for jobs.

I got on Linked In and Zip Recruiter. I sent my 20 year old resume to a friend so he could help me "fix" it. I started applying for every administrative and medical job I could find that paid reasonably and had decent benefits.

My first job interview was with an organ procurement agency. It was the dumbest interview I've ever had in my life. I was honest with them that I hadn't done an interview in 20 years. The good news was that this interview process was the first time they had ever used that particular system, so we were sort of on the same level with interviews. I had a couple of other interviews, but organ procurement came through for me. It is not as much money as I need to make, but it is consistent every 2 weeks as long as I work 40 hours a week, and probably more than I would have made working for N this year given all the punitive crapola that happens.

So now I'm back to commuting again. I need to go buy work clothes, but I don't have to do that immediately because our division is currently the only one in the building that is undergoing renovation. I'm enjoying being around humans again. My biggest issue, though, is given the fact that it's been 20 years since I've learned a new skill (besides software), it's tough, and when I do something wrong, I freak out and worry that I will get fired. Just a little post-N PTSD. My employer has never made me feel like that's going to happen, but I still panic.

So, if it is possible for you to work outside the home, start looking. Do not let M or N define you or your life. They have managed to ruin a whole lot of us mentally, financially, and even physically (just from sitting 18 hours a day trying to get enough work in).

Get out, find a friend, stop isolating. Just don't let the jerks steal any more of your joy.

I pray every single day for MTs that are still in this situation. So that means, I'm praying for you too!

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