A community of 30,000 US Transcriptionist serving Medical Transcription Industry

MIND LOCK - Last Night I "Just Turned It Off"/Abandoned My Shift: What Now? - MT Idiot

Posted: Apr 06, 2010

Posted: Apr 6th, 2010 - 10:35 am

I signed on for my normal shift at Midnight and got immediately hit with an unknown hospital, uknown dictator from outside my CCM's 'book of work.' I couldn't understand the dictator who was a ESL, thick accent interspersed with serial "mumbles with thick accent." Looked for an old report, put in all the correct information, even tried adjusting it several times -- came up with no old reports.

At this point, mental incapacitation seemed to set in; I seemed to go into an "altered state of consciousness." It felt like --- say your pet of 20 years died, and you cried for hours and hours --- how you feel after that --- you feel like you are floating in space. Your body has some kind of chemical cascade reaction which sends you to "LaLa Land" -- for real. You feel as though somebody slipped you a pill of some sort --- surrounded you with a veil of cheeseclothe -- and nothing outside the cheeseclothe is real. You float. You feel totally detached from what we "foolishly" call "reality" (hey man -- if this is reality --- I'll takea good ole psychotic hallucination any day of the week).

And then, I did the UNTHINKABLE THING. I turned to my computer and I hit "BREAK." I sent the mumbling Indian back to from"whence she came" and I signed off my shift. I just stopped working. DUH. I just stopped.

I must have hit some "kind of a wall." I simply could NOT do it.

I wonder what the consequences of this will be, if any. I wrote my CCM and told her I "couldn't do it, didn't know what to do, but there didn't seem to be much sense in sitting there and staring at the computer screen if I couldn't "do it."

My brain felt like a computer that had been given too many sets of conflicting instructions at one time; and my brain did what my computer does in that case; it shut down. Boy did that feel a lot better than 30 seconds earlier when it was franctically "searching for a solution where there is no good solution."

I must be at the end of my "so-called rope," because I feel like I'm losing the capacity to "care" -- which is very unlike me. I'm an inveterate worrier, generally, and hyper-conscientious --- always trying to do my 'very best,' etc. etc. etc.

I don't even feel "badly" about having abandoned my shift. It's totally weird -- it's so not me.

I wonder what kind of "warnings/expressions of opprobrium" I wll receive, if any. Or will I just find "my posterior-side" out on the "pavement" (so to speak) and get to start picking through the outdoor trashcans for leftover bits of McDonald's burgers -- along with the other neighborhood castaways?"

Oh well -- I am so fundamentally BURNED OUT with this situation, I can't even CARE any more. Am I bititer? I don't know. I feel too brain-dead to know. Maybe I'm about to start laughing hysterically.

you have described perfectly... - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
Where a lot of us have been. They probably have an entire team, who sift through the work, to give us bomb after bomb and slowly break us down. I hit the same wall, I try to keep going though. Don't think I could do it working your shift.

Been there, done that. - Tired.

[ In Reply To ..]
I spent part of a shift once dealing with the worst of the worst. With about 4.5 hours left to go, I just logged off. Couldn't do it anymore. Just. Couldn't.

I didn't even email my CCM and tell her about it. I just logged off.

You know what happened?

Absolutely nothing. I didn't get an email, phone call, warning, nothing.

I logged off mid shift...nothing happened either - MTBurnout

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

You just described the "story of my life" - overload

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Keep us posted. I need a mental health day as well.

Have not had 1 of my BOB in days. Cant take much more.

Mind Lock - whatever

[ In Reply To ..]
Lord, I think we all know what you are going through. I haven't abandoned a shift yet, but I have to mentally beat myself up to even get out of bed in the morning because I know I have to do this job. Trying to work under the constant threats of pay reduction, nit picking anything and everything they can find; the group I am in is sitting around waiting to see who they let go when the accounts go ACR. The stress is virtually overwhelming. Does MQ care, hell no.

You are not alone - Badcat

[ In Reply To ..]
You are not alone... I came to that point some weeks ago, I completely stopped caring. For two weeks now I've stopped working early, twice I didn't even work a scheduled shift, and when I have worked I don't make anywhere near my quota. I just don't care anymore, and I can't face doing this anymore. I still haven't heard anything from my CCM about my late work habits. Why haven't they fired me yet? Do I care if they do or don't?

It is a terrible way to feel when this is the way I'm trying to support my family and I can't even do it anymore because it takes all the heart out of me.

It's GOOD to have someone say "You Are Not Alone" - MT Idiot

[ In Reply To ..]
It really is comforting. There's little that comforts me these days. My CATS comfort me -- they never fail. There is something about their 'love.' (I have 2 of them). Other than that, honestly, it's difficult to find any comfort. But I'm finding it helpful to write to this forum rather than keeping everything bottled up in my gut. And I find much comfort in the words "You Are Not Alone." HANG TOUGH. If a lot of us know we are in this situation together, it makes it easier in some ways. It's a little easier to 'laugh at it.' It's a little less frightening when you know there is a whole "group/cluster" of people going through exactly the same thing you are.

I know what you mean - Badcat

[ In Reply To ..]
I know what you mean about your cats, mine also give me lots of comfort. One of the worst things about this dumb job is that your family can't relate to what you are going through, can't really even understand it, and you have no co-workers in an office to bounce things off of. This forum gives us the opportunity to let off steam and not feel so isolated.

For a long time I had thought that the way the Q was treating me was because of me, because my work was not good, or some other silly reason... coming here made me realize it wasn't.

You should become a writer! It was PERFECT. - l am beyond that.

[ In Reply To ..]
What you wrote is how I felt for the the last 5-6 months. I have had it. Been an MT for over 20 years and just have had it! Went to college now. Took a couple of classes this spring and will take 1 this summer and more in the fall. It took EVERYTHING I had to suck it up and go back to school. It makes me sick to think I went to school and just wasted classes on this disgusting lowlife profession. Made me so sick that I just literally threw up in the toilet the other day.

I now have high BP because of this job and that is what my doctor told me. I eat healthy meals, I exercise. My labs all came back perfect. Great cholesterol level, perfect thyroid, etc. I used to weigh 5 months ago, 128 pounds and I am 5',3", but now I weigh in around 150 because BP pills caused me to have weight gain and the stress of this job is literally killing me.

THINK ABOUT IT? IS IT WORTH IT? I have literally had it.

Yes, I Like Writing Very Much - MT Idiot

[ In Reply To ..]
I have been writing regularly to a couple of forums for a few years, and I get a lot of feedback; they always want me to keep writing -- they literally ask me to.

I wish I could figure out how to turn it into a paying job -- but I'll write whether I get paid for it or not -- it's just what I DO.

So I think my next major writing project will be a draft of that letter to Michelle Obama that I've been thinking about for a few days.

why don't you become a professional, paid blogger - see inside

[ In Reply To ..]
How to Find Blog Networks That Pay You to Blog

Paid Blogging Jobs Do Exist Through Blog Networks
By Susan Gunelius

Finding a job as a blogger for a blog network can be a great way to enter the world of professional blogging. Determine your area of expertise or the topic where you can add value to readers then market yourself to blog networks as the best person to blog about that topic to drive traffic to the network.

Many blog networks post blogging jobs on job boards, so take some time to search for and apply to open positions.

Thank you, I'll consider doing this. - MT Idiot

[ In Reply To ..]
It sounds like a long-term goal but something I could look into and work toward.

See you posted above about writing to White House. - See message.

[ In Reply To ..]
Since you are new to this board, I wanted you to know, we did try to start a Union. A few of us, but many refused. It was before CBay bought us out. I knew deep down that if MQ/CBAY can do what they are doing to us and get away with it, other companies will follow to save money so it would be the new medical transcription profession by paying us India wages which frankly MQ seems to be succeeding.

MANY, MANY of us wrote to Glenn Beck, practically all the staff of Fox and CNN news, our representatives in many states and I even spent 7 dollars to make sure my letter was seen by many to our representative. Well, here we are today.

I think it would be awesome if you could send letters to anyone at the White House. I would sign that letter too. I live clear across the other side of the country and I would give anything to be in your position by being so close to the white house. I think you SERIOUSLY need to post this as a NEW POST about sending info to the white house so everyone can read your new post and ideas.

Lastly, do not fear about people finding you out. Hahaha, I remember I felt the same as you when I first started posting. Pretty much freaked out about everything. Now, I do not think that. Just make sure your email is not your real name and if it is currently, just change it.

Once I actually fought with a real Indian on here AND there were some suits on this board when the FIRST TIME RIGHT came out. You kinda can tell when they get on the board. Hope this helps. You are pretty much safe on this board, just be careful with the email posts. Cher the moderator does a great job with our posts and monitors very well!

I Am Going to Concentrate on Drafting a Letter to Michelle Obama -- She is THE ONE - MT IDIOT

[ In Reply To ..]
I'll think about writing another post -- about writing to the White House.

I've been sitting here writing for hours. I am getting tired and need to take a break. However, this has been "a gratifying experience." Honestly, truly --- because I see that there is some interest in what I am posting and some "agreement"/even enthusiasm -- for the idea.

A Union probably can't be made to work in the situation where employees are SO WIDELY SCATTERED. And people are so afraid of losing the little shrinking income they have, in a very scary economy.

But writing a letter to Michelle Obama is a "different story." I can't say it would do any good; and I can't say that there's no possibility it would do any good. I literally live six blocks from the White House, and I am not shy. I'm not "afraid." I supported her husband's campaign and am a member of the mailing lists they write to all the time, asking for support.

I have a fantasy (well it doesn't hurt to fantasize) about being invited down to the WH for a cup of "tea" on the patio and a "chat" about 'the whole scenario." It's an interesting and timely subject.

But listen, since I'm NEW to writing at this forum and apparently you have been around it for a while -- perhpas you would consider posting something that says, "did you see "Idiot's" post about writing to Michelle Obama? I think that's a really good idea. Why doesn't anywone who supports this idea let "Idiot know" --- and the more positive feedback she gets, the more incentive she will have -- knowing that others find it an "interesting and possibly exciting option." What do you think?????? MT Idiot

They don't care - anon

[ In Reply To ..]
I sent my senator a letter about my concerns with outsourcing. Surprisingly, I got an answer back from him. He basically said that while some jobs are outsourced, free trade is good for the American people. While some Americans lost their jobs due to outsourcing, foreign-based companies are increasingly "insourcing" jobs into the U.S., providing obvious benefits to American workers and the economy. Just over 5.3 million Americans currently earn a paycheck from foreign business based here in the U.S. Efforts to limit outsourcing will, in the long run, damage both our local and national economies by jeopardizing this growth. What did I get from this letter? Blah, Blah, Blah - we do not care that your job went to India.

Dont forget to add - sm - Typingly-Challenged

[ In Reply To ..]
to future letters that this isn't just about a handful of transcriptionsts, because most people don't even know what we do or that we exist.

Instead, focus on the downright DISHONESTY of the entire industry. About all the little loopholes they seem to have when it comes to IC-vs-employee, paying below minimum wage, cheating on time sheets, not paying overtime worked, etc. About how the norm for the industry is to set US MTs up to FAIL, so they can: (a) strip them of their healthcare benefits, (b) ding their pay, (c) get rid of them altogether, and (d) discourage and/or not reply to American MTs who apply for their positions, so they can *claim* that there are "not enough US MTs to handle the workload", so they "must" offshore. Etc., etc.

I for one would be VERY interested in how the tax-thing works for offshore employees of "American" companies, and how most likely these companies are getting around having to make sure these employees pay US Federal & State income taxes. And I'd be interested to know how so many of them, for so long, have laughed in the face of our country's employment laws. How have they not been caught? And in some instances, JAILED?

If someone can be jailed for hoarding animals and keeping them under disgusting conditions, how do these white-collar criminals continue to get off scott-free after putting their employees into deplorable financial condition? How can this sort of thing be any good for a country that is already on its knees? Those, and many other thing, are things I would like to know, and once found out, things I would like to bring to the attention of the U.S. and State labor commissions.

Wow. Exactly my reaction one day a few - months ago. Only I then

[ In Reply To ..]
wrote (calmly) an e-mail to my QC and CCM resigning from Medquist effective immediately. No notice. Just couldn't face transcribing one more word or hearing one more ESL dictation.

Like you, I was working my normal shift and pulled in an ESL. He was a regular though, not an unknown -- but he fit your description above perfectly. I suddenly just could not face a future of doing him anymore. I finished the report though, left lots of blanks, sent it off, ended the session, and immediately composed the email and quit. I did my timecard, signed off on it, shut down the computer and unplugged MQ's computer and took it all apart. Got the original shipping boxes out of the storage room and packed it all up ready to go. Called support and told them I needed to know where to send it because I had just quit. Eventually I got shipping labels in the mail and off they went.
All the built-up stress from working 20+ accounts with what seemed like 90% ESL and the rest just bad quality dictation --- just finally kicked in and triggered a survival reaction ! I could not have transcribed one more word. It really was a weird state of mind. I felt nothing. I didn't feel relief or frustration or anger -- just plain nothing. I went about the whole thing very calmly. The next day after I worked my other part-time job, I went on line and did some applications for other companies-- and in a couple of weeks I had a replacement for MQ -- with only 10% ESL transcription, three main accounts, all the help I could possibly need, and so much praise for the quality of my work from the people in my regional office that I was "gobsmacked" as they say.
But the state I was in when I finisyhed that job, sent the email and shut down the computer is exactly what you described. Wonder if it has a medical term ?!
And all the anxiety-related symptoms, mental and physical, that I had been experiencing just vanished overnight.
Guess your mind/body tell you when enough is REALLY enough and you cannot take -- or should not take -- any more. It wasn't really a conscious decision -- it was must what my mind and body did pretty much of their own accord -- like they took over and did for me what I had thus far not been willing to do for myself.
Thank you for that post -- made me feel much better about what I did .

I did the same thing this week! I emailed sup and - ECmt

[ In Reply To ..]
and told her why. SHE NEVER RESPONDED. It was my first report too. I could tell by the backlog that my main couple of accounts were empty. I could understand this dr for the most part, but it was a PA dictating for someone else, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out how to enter that in. No samples to be found. Then as I started typing she starts mentioning dr's names that I can't understand, and after about 2 minutes, can't find the spelling for.

I gave up. Not quite as dramatically as you did (I LOVED your post), but I thought, I just can't do this! It was a 1000+ second report, so any blanks would be huge against my total lines. The next report up was from yet another hospital I'd never heard of, even LONGER than the first!

This is just crazy. How do they expect us to do this? I wasn't going to do 2 reports at 2 CPL (which is all I'd make if I end up losing money for sending to QA).

Ive done that a buncha times. No one has even - called to ask why. And if they do, (sm)

[ In Reply To ..]
I'll just tell them I suddenly came down with the stomach flu and can't stop puking. Or that the house next door caught fire and I was out there hosing down my roof. Or another number of tall tales.

If my posterior ends up on the pavement, my unemployment will likely be more money than I'm making now. AND, the added bonus will be that THEN I will have the time, energy, and motivation to start outing the transcription industry to any and all who will read or listen in all levels of government and hospital management.

Old Reports - Angry

[ In Reply To ..]
Be careful looking up old reports. You may get a HIPPA violation as I did. I thought we were given this to help with ESL and bad sound quality, etcetera. This makes one very angry, takes double the time when you have to exaplin why you looked it up on top of struggling through it.

Why did you get a HIPPA violation? - huh

[ In Reply To ..]
/

Oops....HIPAA. - Braindead today.

[ In Reply To ..]
z

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