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Work at home single mom guilt - Panicky

Posted: Oct 24, 2011

My 7 and almost 5 year olds spent the summer with their dad and I was working freely. Prior to that, for their entire lives I have worked at home while they were home. No daycare, ever. Always managing somehow, whether I had a significant other or whether I was a single mom. But today I've been thrust back into the first school night they've been home this year and I wonder how I ever did it. Homework, dinner, keeping them occupied while I sit in front of the computer for 8 hours. Panic mode. I know I can do this but I feel overwhelmed suddenly. Am I a bad mother for working at home as a single mom while the kids are here? How do I keep them occupied so they don't feel like I'm neglecting them?

Don't EVER feel guilty about this. sm - sah mom

[ In Reply To ..]
I work at night when my kids go to bed, but I can't do 8 hours because I homeschool them. They are here with me all the time and I take them where they need to be. It is exhausting sometimes, but we are raising the next generation of children. Do what you can when you can with them. If you could change your schedule to work evenings would be ideal, then you sleep while they are at school, then when they get home, you are ready to do all the fun stuff with them. Just a suggestion, but if you can't change your schedule, just do what you can. Don't feel guilty about it. You are better off having them there with you than running the neighborhood getting into trouble. Good luck to you.

Working at home - MT

[ In Reply To ..]
I am married, but my husband works long hours so I know how you feel. The way I look at it is that I could be at a job working for eight hours and they wouldn't see me. I may be here and working, but I am HERE. I am here if they need to ask me a question, I am here to put them to bed. I am here to feed them, etc. No one else is doing it, just me. You can get past the guilt by remembering that other single moms have their kids in daycare while they work. Some single moms have evening jobs where the kids are in school all day and they have to work at night, only seeing them on the weekends or right before going to work. Just remember that you can stop at any time just to check with them and see if they need anything...even to just give them a hug and a kiss. You wouldn't be able to do that if you were at an office somewhere.

Guilty? - SassyMT

[ In Reply To ..]
Don't ever feel guilty about working from home with them there. Do you know how many mothers hae to punch a clock and are away from their kids all day long and would love to switch places with you? A lot! You'll be okay. My youngest is now 15 and I worked in house for 9 months (5 years ago), and we both miserable. Just try to plan your breaks to be available for them. When mine were young like that, I set up a desk in the office with me so they could color or do homework right there and it made all of the difference. Relax. You just need to regroup.

I have been an MT since the early 1970s, - working in a hospital SM

[ In Reply To ..]
before marriage and before having children. A job just like any other job. After marriage and having a child, I did what other mothers did, arranged daycare and went to work. When MT'ing became a job you could do at home, I think a lot of the so-called schools touted it as a great opportunity for mothers to be able to stay at home and earn some extra money, easy peasy. IMO, a lot of them put the job second and didn't treat it like a real job. I think this has played a part in undervaluing the work an MT does. This is a real profession (or it was). You should treat it as such. I feel a lot of MTs treat it as a hobby. I don't mean the poster, just in general over the years. I was a single mom for most of my child's life. I had to work to support us. I did the best I could as many others did. I had to work certain hours and I did, just like any other job.

cant you - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
work while the kids are in school? Or a split shift so that you are working super early before they get up and then late after they go to bed?

I worked at home for 15 years and was a single mom too. My kids are now 20 and 22 and they did well and were better off for me being home with them, plus I got to show them good work ethics. Kids need that.

I do the same thing!! - Iknowwhatyouaretalkingbout

[ In Reply To ..]
Oh, I so know how you feel. I am not a single mom (and bless your heart, I cannot even imagine how hard that is), but I feel guilty all the time because I feel like I am neglecting my family as well. I am also going to school for coding and when I'm not working or sleeping during the day (3rd shifter), then I have to spent at least 2 to 3 hours doing school work. I feel so terrible! I have a 9-year-old and an 9-month-old and because I'm so busy all the time doing that, when I do have free time, I find myself trying to catch up on just the day-to-day chores, which is STILL neglecting them.

I truly do feel for you. And I hope things get better for you.

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