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Boyfriend and I broke up because of this job. - Me

Posted: Dec 31, 2012

Am I the only one whose boyfriend/husband cannot stand us working in the house? You're chained to the computer, you want to work regular hours like everyone else in America and you cannot get away. The constant SOS's, or you have to work evenings and weekends and you don't have time for your mate. We fought all the time and now he's gone. Don't say then he wasnt worth it. But he was right about everything. they shouldn't make you work more than 8 hours a day. And they should provide enough work during your schedule so that you don't have to constantly flex your time into the evening.

You're not the only one. - Maggie May

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My husband is retired, so he is home most of the time, and he hates how much time I spend in my office on my computer. Unfortunately, he is a bit older than I am and since I have will no retirement pay we can't afford for me to stop working. :(

similar experience - sadMT

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My experience is that my family and friends don't really "get" what this job is like, and I am talking about the toll it takes overall working from home.

They seem to always ask, "How hard could it be?"

When I would try to explain how tough it was to get my time in, and how exhausting it was to sit 10 to 12 hours at the computer, they would say, "These companies need to treat you more fairly."

My job is not one where I clock in, work my 8, make my daily salary, clock out, and forget about it. So, people used to those types of jobs can't get it.

My last boyfriend, though we didn't cohabitate, could not understand why I had to cancel plans so often. Or why I was not always in the best mood. Well, I was always stuck at this computer, waiting and hoping for jobs to come in. Constant financial worries with this job. I would cancel so many dates, he started thinking I was lying about all the hours I had to stay home and work. What kind of company would demand that much? Oh, and going back to school to get off the MT hamster wheel doesn't leave much time for a social life, either.

All this headache for 8 bucks an hour, if that.

I'm sorry... - :(

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that's terrible, and just wanted to say I'm sorry that happened to you. Take care. {hugs}

I'm very sorry for your pain, too. - (s/m)

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Don't have anything helpful to add, unfortunately, but I can totally see where you're coming from. There is no job on the face of this earth that should cause families and relationships to break up, and these companies should be more humane to this problem.

I was the most miserable to myself, and the most miserable person to live with, that I've ever been in my life during the 9 months that I worked for an MTSO. I would have absolutely HATED it if my husband was so restricted by his job and work schedule as I had gotten to be....chained to his stupid desk so many hours a day. That is no way to live. I always say: "I want to work to live, not live to work."

sorry - me 2

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that he left, but I won't heed your request to not say he wasn't worth it. If he's willing to leave you because of your job, then good riddance. If he was so dang unhappy why didnt he make enough to pay your bills so you could get away with working 8 hours?

Nah, no dude who walks out and is so unsupportive is worth having in your life.

I am just now barely able to start thinking about buying clothes - wheres_my_job

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The farther I'm out from being an MT (last Spring), the clearer I can see the overwhelming toll it has taken on me. It is quite insidious - along with everything else in your life which may not be so great, the sitting in front of a computer by yourself is sooooooooo bad for a person....throw in the economic exploitation and it is a recipe for DISASTER.

I need to buy clothes. And I'm just now being able to think about buying something *pretty* - has anyone else experienced the "death of prettiness" sitting in front of a computer so much? The isolation...I have been ASTOUNDED to be working at a job I really would rather not do (can't I just paint and write? seriously....) - and I rediscover on a daily basis what a likeable person I am, humorous, kind, thoughtful, a good listener (okay maybe it's a little hard to talk about certain details of my life, but every now and again I reveal something of the medical transcription/single female of a certain age nightmare)...anyway, I'm tired, so I'm kind of forgetting the point I'm making...but HOW can you have a relationship when you are an MT, and all beat down? How does that work exactly?

Anyway, I hope by New Year's next year, I will have accomplished SOME big creative goals that I have for myself - even just ONE big "life" goal creatively would be phenomenal.

Oh well, I'm rambling. Tired. Happy New Year!

know just what you mean - anon

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Wow, that is so refreshing to hear your story. I went back to school last semester and joined a bowling league for fun. I was really shocked at how I had let myself go. I was also shocked when people would tell me how nice I looked or what a fun, interesting personality I had. Sitting in front of the computer all the time, I had almost forgotten how to interact with people. And my own attributes or how others saw me? Totally clueless about that, never gave it a thought. It was just me in this home office, and the rest of the world seemed like another planet I didn't get to visit very often.

The isolation really has done a number on me. I hope to get out of MT in the next year and a half, maybe salvage what remains of my youth. I've wasted a lot of years at this desk. Yes, absolutely, totally wasted.

Way to go! Wish you the best. With your better frame of mind, your creativity will know no bounds.

This made me laugh out loud - wheres_my_job

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The part where you wrote:

"I was also shocked when people would tell me how nice I looked or what a fun, interesting personality I had."

Look what this job has done to us!!!!!!! I mean, people work for airlines and get screwed over, they work at grocery stores, banks, etc - and they still manage to look nice, they still have coworkers, some of whom may become friends, they can still do stuff "after work" (what a concept! after work!)

Thanks so much for posting your perspective. As I am a writer (cough) I don't feel my MT experience was a total waste - (gulp) it has helped as an airhead pie-in-the-sky poet toughen up (as a writer, I mean technically, verbs, adverbs, clauses, foreign words, looking stuff up in dictionaries, you know the routine) - but yes, salvage your youth!!! After it's been savaged by this MT "profession."

Happy New Year!

Life in front of a computer - outahere

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The last time I bought something new in the line of clothes was in 2004, which coincidentally was the last time I had a vacation or even a long weekend. One way or the other I ended up working part of my days off, couldn't get a holiday off whether there was work or not because "you never know when it will start coming in." I felt guilty buying a cheap $10 hoody last week knowing I would come up short on a bill or have to buy that much less in groceries. A damn shame that we have to work our fingers to the bone for minimum wage, especially having worked 20, 30 or even 40 years in this business making really good money, now nothing. Husband or boyfriend?! Don't I wish!! Men want someone they can be with, not just look at the back of her head and be ignored.

I've been stretching my dollars by shopping thrift stores. - And I accept hand-me-downs from - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
my friends. As a result, now I actually have a closet full of cuter, better-quality clothes than I ever had when I bought new, especially when I bought new and cheap! (Everything shrank the 1st time I washed it - not much of a bargain if you can only wear it once, then have to take it to Goodwill!) So, instead of donating to Goodwill and the thrift store in town all the time, I started BUYING. It's the only place I can find good-quality clothing made in the USA.

I'm tired of being shackled to my PC, especially since it's no longer supporting me. I want to go back to the days when my PC was merely a source of entertainment. Scr*w working on it.

I have a completely different take on this - PR

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My husband and I share a work room together and he has his computer, I have mine. He never says the first word about my working, the hours I work, the holding my nose to the grindstone type work, nothing. I work part time. He is home on at least 2 days of my 3 days and not a peep out of him. I love sharing the office with him and I donâ��t think he minds this job at all. We are like 2 peas in a pod. Happy little peas.

Happy Peas - GoodGollyMM

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With jobs like needles in a haystack, loved ones should just be happy to have someone in the home making some money. If your guy does not like your job and is complaining because he is neglected or whatever, he is being a bit selfish and unreasonable. Being an MT requires a lot of concentration and attention to detail not to mention knowledge and a lot of skill. Sure, we don't make the money we used to but no one does anymore. I get sick of people putting it down all the time. If a guy leaves you and says it is your job, he is lying. He just wanted to put the blame on your livelihood so when he is gone, you can blame yourself and not him. The Happy Peas are fortunate. Too bad most of us cannot find guys like that. I suspect, he is just a little more intelligent than the run of the mill guy IMHO.

Happy little peas - what a sweet mental picture - grits

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DH and I also share an office quite happily. He has his laptop for schoolwork (he's working on his master's while holding down a fulltime job) and a TV for his video games. We "live" more in there than we do in the living room, but it works for us.

He's proud of the work I do, and that helps me to keep a good attitude about it. It helps to be able to gripe to him when the ridiculousness of the industry gets me down. Having a supportive partner really makes all the difference, and I wish everybody had one. :(

don't kid yourself - nm

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His behavior says more - about

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his character than it does about your work. He sounds immature and selfish. You deserve better.

boyfriend - nan

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I agree. My DH has supported this job for the 18 years I have been doing it. I was full time and I went part time when the full time got to be too much. He has worked two jobs when I couldn't work. You need a new man

job and significant other - Perhaps?

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Perhaps you need another job?

Husband not understanding and moved out - Rain

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When I was still full time MT I had to ask my husband to move out. After 15 years of marriage and working at home during all of it, he didn't understand that I was home WORKING, not sitting around to baby sit his nieces/nephews, go work at the business he owns, or just be the errand girl/maid. Then when I worked evening shifts, he couldn't understand why I was working then, duh, you bothered me all day, after my repeatedly asking you not to.
Doesn't matter anymore, I quit my miserable MT full time job, now looking for minimal part time, as I start school soon to get me out of this dead end career.

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