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Well, if Ms. Weiner-Bunn got rejected - what chance did you have?

Posted: Dec 11th, 2017 - 5:35 am In Reply to: now I feel even worse - foible

She was ALMOST perfect for TTS. She got all the way down to that last question safely, but when she quibbled over the cheesy PTO allowance...pffffft!!

"Goodbye, Ms. Weiner-Bunn! Our people care nothing about time off. In fact, they hate every moment that they're not laboring to become even more destitute than they already are. Noses to the grindstone, Ms. Weiner-Bunn. Noses to the grindstone! That's our motto here on The Plantation. How can we send our children to Harvard if the slaves are lollygagging around?

"Besides, what would they do with time off? Illness? We don't allow it. Vacation? They have no money for such foolishness. Giving birth? They have enough children. Holidays? What do they have to celebrate? What's that you say, Ms Weiner-Bunn? Spring cleaning the house? You baffle me. What house? If you're perhaps referring to their hovels, who cleans a hovel? Once you clean a hovel it becomes a shack, and then you've got people running around with uppity notions of grandeur, looking down their noses at the other slaves. We cannot encourage that!

"So, kindly take your greedy demands elsewhere, Ms. Weiner-Bunn - or maybe I should call you Ms. Rockefeller. And don't let the door hit you on the you-know-what."

Ms. Weiner-Bunn slinks off in tears. Reaching the door, she turns to beg for a second chance at this fabulous job when she's struck smartly on the nose by a hard wad of paper. It's her application, of course.

Had she known, she would have expected this and departed more swiftly, perhaps even taking a serpentine path to the door. Unerring accuracy with application wads is a strict requirement for TTS recruiters. These, according to whichever method the recruiter prefers, may either be hurled or fired from the silver-plated slingshot which is presented to each recruiter on achieving that exalted position.

All that matters is that the rejection message hits home forcefully and unmistakably, just in case the hapless applicant might foolishly think of trying again.

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