Not alone - sm Posted: Oct 3rd, 2017 - 2:09 am In Reply to: Starting therapy tomorrow - Kerra
Okay, I've been EXACTLY where you are. Three years ago, I left MT to work at a hospital. My self esteem was rock bottom when I started because of my MT background (PTSD is not an exaggeration). I second-guessed everything. I could NOT remember from day to day how to use the hospital's software. The people who trained me tried to be patient, but they were astonished that I couldn't remember what they had shown me just the day before. The non-stop stimulation of having people around me, behind me, in line with me, questioning me, challenging my responses, phones ringing...all of that was SO stressful. Yes, I cried, too. Having to learn 300 new names terrified me. I sat alone in the breakroom, hoping to look like it didn't matter. The manager would say things like, "Haha! You're JUST like my GRANDmother!!!" (She's just 32 years old and thinks very highly of herself. Yeah, I KNOW how inappropriate that was, but what can you do?)
Try to take it easy on yourself, Kerra. Epic is a new system, right? The doctors themselves are probably having a meltdown, too...they hate learning new systems because it takes away from interacting with patients. Take LOTS of notes.
I LOVED doing transcription, but, in retrospect, it's kind of one-dimensional. I wasn't prepared to have a desk covered with unfinished issues, things that couldn't be filed away without the cooperation of other departments (good luck with THAT). I found multi-tasking virtually impossible; but this, too, can be learned.
I also take meds, and these had to be adjusted many times. This is difficult to do when you're overwhelmed. I eventually settled into my job and performed it well, and you will too. Remember that believing in yourself is 3/4ths of the battle. You WILL be okay...just try to learn 1 little thing each day. You can get support here every day. We're pulling for you, kiddo.:) Your mantra: "I LOVE this job! I LOVE this job!"
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