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How do you deal with a difficult boss? - anonymous

Posted: Aug 08, 2014

I have come to the conclusion that the "Boss" is a bully. I am an IC but I say boss because that is how he comes across. He is difficult to deal with and uses bully-like tactics to get what he wants. I cannot be alone in this situation. I am looking for advice and helpful tips on how to deal with the situation short of quitting. Thanks!

Difficult boss - sm - JavaMT50

[ In Reply To ..]
If he is not the owner of the company, go to the owner and tell them your concerns. More than likely the owner is not aware of how he is treating MTs.

If it is the owner, state the issues in an E-mail with notations from prior E-mails outlining the specific threats made and/or discrepancies in QA procedures, etc., using it as a way to cover your behind. If that does not get results, just ignore the threats, do not respond to harassing IMs or E-mails.

I was in the same situation many years ago. I ended up going to the owner, turning off my IM, and ignoring the nasty E-mails and threats. I figured if they were not satisfied with my work, they can fire me.

You should be more - specific...

[ In Reply To ..]
Just because a boss is demanding, abrasive, thoughtless or even mean doesn't make him a "bully."

I believe OP said it all. More detail would expose - identities to boss and coworkers. s/m

[ In Reply To ..]
NOUN: (plural bullies)

A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.

VERB (bullies, bullying, bullied): Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.

Read original post again, it fits. To be more specific is easy to say from the safety of our seats, but don't you think he'd recognize himself and tear into her?

Love your words "you need." No, she doesn't. Her question is not whether or not he is in actually being a bully. Sounds like she has established that for fact. Question is how to deal with the situation.

How I dealt with the situation - sm

[ In Reply To ..]
My previous account manager constantly wrote nasty, demanding mass emails to everyone. I ignored them for the most part. However, when they were directed to me, I wrote back and directly addressed her tone more than the content of the email. For your instance, if her email read something like, "It is your job to .....," I responded with, "With all due respect, I fully realize what my job is....." At one point, I also asked her politely, "Is such a negative tone in your communication really necessary? Also, it is very unnecessary for your to write to me in all CAPS in each sentence. I can read just fine" This behavior was stopped shortly. I don't know if her superiors saw one or she just got the message. You MUST deal with it, but that does not mean you have to be nasty as well. Use words like, "will you kindly not...." You can make your point whether you are right or wrong in a situation about how a manager should deal with people. A business-tone is one thing, but intimidating behavior should be address with that person directly, with a copy to their superior.

when there is a superior boss to the bully boss, you can BCC - her superior on all emails as well.

[ In Reply To ..]
that spot where you can cc people without it showing anywhere that they were sent a copy. You gonna talk to me like that, I want a moderator/arbitrator.

Apparently you don't read - very well...

[ In Reply To ..]
My post never said this person "needed" to do anything. For me to understand what she meant by bullying it would help to have an example, i.e. what the person below posted, nasty emails. What you need to do is read a post thoroughly before you take it on yourself to jump down someone else's throat, otherwise you risk coming off as a bully yourself.

Yes, I see that has changed. again, question is not answered - how would you handle a difficult boss ---

[ In Reply To ..]
decidedly determined by the only one who can, to be bullying. A bully is a bully, how they go about it is nonessential.

playing devil's advocate... - we only have one side

[ In Reply To ..]
even a pancake has two sides.

"bullying" is name-calling, threatening, mocking. lately (not here) it's become a handy term to use when someone is expected to do what he's supposed to. my neighbor's kid told me his mom is a "bully" because she expected him to help around the house, for pete's sake.

and no--i'm not an MTSO. however, i've worked w/ ICs who contracted for hours/days/lines, then called the MTSO "mean" for expecting them to abide by the agreement.

Bully bosses push my passive-aggressive button. - Although its wrong, I start sabotaging. -nm

[ In Reply To ..]
nm

A bully tends to back down when someone stands up to them - is my experience

[ In Reply To ..]
You don't have to get as nasty a them - you don't want to wrestle around in the dirt with him - but as one of the other posters said, address everything he/she says. I had a boss (not in the medical field) slam his hand down on his desk and turn red he was yelling at me so loudly one time. I just looked at him for about 5 seconds and said "Is there any particular reason you're raising your voice to me?" That shut him up just that quick.

If this "boss" is addressing specific problems, be a professional and address those problems as you are able. If he is just being passive aggressive and a jerk, call him on it as politely and professionally as you can.

Also, it may help if you can share the communication or e mail with someone you trust for a second opinion. Sometimes we are so entrenched in the "button pushing" that it's hard to see things clearly. See if someone else has the same reaction to some of the communication that you do.

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