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some bloopers for your enjoyment - enigma

Posted: Sep 03, 2010

Doctor bloopers:

1. Meant: There was excessive cerumen.

Dictated: There was excessive cerebrum.

2. When they say "in lieu of" when they mean "in view of," trying to sound erudite and the meaning is completely different.

3. "After obtaining informed consent, the patient was brought..." (The patient does not obtain informed consent, the patient gives informed consent.)

4. Meant: Normocephalic, atraumatic.

Dictated: Nontraumatic, acephalic (has no head??)

5. Meant: complaining of odynophagia

Dictated: complaining of odontophagia (she swallowed her teeth??)

6. ...had a ratified modical mastectomy...

Typist bloopers!

1. Dictated: The polyp was then suctioned through the scope.

I typed: The patient was then suctioned through the scope.

2. Dictated: The patient is homeless.

I Typed: The patient is hopeless.

ASR Bloopers:

1. Dictated: 25 mg of Toprol

Typed: 25,000,000 grams of Toprol!!

2. Dict: There is a PEG tube in the abdomen.

Typed: There is a trach tube in the abdomen.

Dictation bloopers - Zenaida

[ In Reply To ..]
Thanks for the laugh. Here are a few of my favorites. Maybe we could keep this thread going long enough to publish a book and all retire early. It would be a limited market, though. Who else but us would understand why this stuff is so funny.

1. Dictated: Anal fissure.
Transcribed: Anal fisher (what was he using for bait?)

2. Dictated: The wound was closed with 4-0 Prolene.
Transcribed: The wound was closed with floral Prolene.

3. Dictated: She has no difficulty with her memory except for the parts she cannot remember.

4. The patient is an elderly male lying peacefully in bed accompanied by his sister.

5. The feet were not examined. It appears that the patient has had bilateral above-knee amputations.

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