You obviously have an on-the-job injury. Have you ever worked as an employee with a company or has everything been IC? I would contact your local work hardening program and a county health program. I would also contact social security if you have been paying into social security - and apply for disability. My problems are both physical and mental - and from my 15 years of experience, I have not met an MT that did not have something wrong with them physically and/or mentally. My prayers are with you. Just don't start drinking. An MT friend of mine does that and she is now without a job - in and out of jail - and it's just a really hard existence - leave the field before it kills you. It's not worth it.