You will be okay. Just take one day at a time. Sometimes that is the best we can do. My daughter became a widow at 29. It was a very difficult road for her. It sounds like your heart is healing and you are "waking up" out of that fog of grief. Bless your heart! You have a good head on your shoulders. That is a wonderful idea about bringing another MT friend with you to the out-of-town meeting. Enjoy yourself! My daughter is engaged to the most wonderful man now. She has been blessed to have two wonderful men love her, although she went through some difficult years. This will happen to you too. Aim high - don't settle for less. If you think you deserve the best, you will attract those kind of people to you. Best wishes!