|
|
Hi all. I just want to start off by saying that whenever I post on here I always get kind responses, and I may not always get a chance to say thank you. Wanted to let you know that I do appreciate it.
Here is my latest challenge. I have an uncle who is in his early 70's who I believe is in the early stages of vascular dementia. I grew up watching my grandmother, his mother, go through the stages of this horrid disease. I have a pretty good grasp of what we are up against. Thing is, I was a child when my grandmother started her decline, and boy things are different when you are an adult. I honestly don't know where to turn, who to ask for advice, what to do next.
Here is what complicates the situation. My uncle is divorced, has been for some time. He has no children. He has three sisters, my aunts, living. One is in her 80s, one is two hours away and not in great health, and the third is 12 hours away. The oldest cannot help, given her age, the one that is two hours away has told me that she really doesn't know what to do and that we are pretty much on our own, and the one that is 12 hours away would probably be the most able to help, but she is 12 hours away and has issues with her own family.
It gets a little more complicated. My uncle is a hoarder. He also has been notoriously bad about managing his finances for many years. His house is in a very bad state of disrepair. He is at the stage where he really needs someone to look over him, not live with him but maybe go in once or twice a week and help him with bills, meds, etc. However, his house is so bad that I truly fear it is going to fall down around him.
My questions: I know that he needs help, but I also know that he has to ask for that help (up to a certain point, which would be where we would then go to court and ask for a conservatorship). He is not at that stage yet. If something happens to him, no one has legal medical proxy, he does not have a will, he does not have an advanced directive. We have talked to him about the importance of doing this, but he does not want to listen, even though he admits he needs to do something. He also has not been formally diagnosed. I think he is afraid to get confirmation that he is suffering from the same disease as his mother. How do we help him? What should we do? What is the procedure here? I honestly am at my wit's end. I don't want to pressure him into making a will and other legal documents and have him thinking that we are wanting anything. I don't want his stuff. It is his. But something has to be done. I want him to be taken care of when the time comes.
Any advice would be appreciated, as always. Thank you.
HC |
