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I have the sweetest boy. He is 12. He is kind, thoughtful, funny, smart, and a joy to be around. Lurking underneath all that, though, is a temper that erupts violently. It is rare, which is good, but it is pretty intense. There are 2 things that I wanted to share with you.
1) After his last outburst, when he lost it and started punching his older brother over and over with every bit of strength he had (Scary to see, BTW!), I found out that the whole event was not as out of the blue as I had thought. He had expressed to me verbally a few times that certain things were bothering him, but I didn't realize the extend that they were bothering him, and they were things I could have addressed to help him with his frustration. I felt terrible about that, because I didn't help him. I don't think I was listening with my heart, so to speak.
2) The thing I have tried to express to him about the violence is how quickly things can turn very serious. I told him that there are lots of people in prison who killed other people and are sorry that they did, but the only reason it happened is because they never learned to control their temper. In past years there have been a few instances in the news of brothers killing brothers - teens - over things as small as a pack of gum or a video game. I think that made him think a little harder about self-control and how important it is to practice it.
I do believe in spanking, but I also believe that there are kids it does not work for. I'm sure you know if your kid is one of them.
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temper, temper - truffle
