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I am in a similar situation, though a lot more in the hole, about $80K between the 2 of us, unfortunately my DH is the one that has no idea. I am to the point where I have to tell him too. I will call all my CC companies though and see if I can negotiate a better interest rate, only behind on 1 account and this was this month, just did not have $650 to make the payment. I need to see a lawyer first though before I "confess" in case this goes the divorce route, want to know where I stand and if it is possible I would lose my kids over my financial irresponsibility; I know he would fight me for the kids though he cannot deal with having them so he would probably do it just to spite me and make the kids miserable in the process. I am trying to figure out how to tell him, in a note, in person (however I am afraid of him as he has threatened me before but has never physically harmed me--afraid this might send him over the edge as he has undiagnosed depression), I am leaning toward a note, take the kids out for the day or several hours, come back and discuss the solutions I have mapped out in my head. In our case staying together and working togehter is the best plan I think, though I would proabably walk off debt free in a divorce because of the splitting of assets, he would actually end up with debt, so it would be to his advantage to stay together. I still love my DH, but I do put up with a lot of crud. I am just afraid of change I guess and for myself and my kids. My friends are scared too, my family knows nothing of this nor does his family. Anyone have any good advice on how to tell him w/o ending up getting killed in the process? |
That is some wonderful information - sm - 
