I am only 20 years ago and your daughter sounds exactly like me 4 years ago...
I agree with the above-mentioned posters that you need to get dad involved. I too knew that I could manipulate my mom but was very afraid of what my father would do. It's normal for her to say she is going to leave but she won't. She's just saying that to manipulate you.
AS FOR THE DRINKING: Do not allow this to be acceptable behavior. I drank as a 16-year-old and my parents tried to ground me, keep me home, etc. and I still went out and did it... guess what, I got a DUI because kids do not use smart judgement when drunk. I guarantee there is no "safe ride" because she is with other kids who are drinking, and she will never call you for a ride. My parents were very against teenage drinking and I got into big trouble, I can't imagine what your daughter will do if you let her think that is acceptable. JMO
The best thing that happened to me was the DUI because I stayed home for 3 months (had no license) and I learned that I did not have to go out every night, that I really wasn't missing anything. After that, I didn't want to go out except to see a movie or go get dinner. Maybe the best thing to do is have her stay home for month, only let her go out during day or for a short amount of time and then after that month allow her to go out once a week until she comes home drunk, past curfew or you found out that she was somewhere she was not suppose to be and then have her stay home for two months, then let her go out again until she abuses it, etc. Eventually, she will either get into trouble and she'll learn that way or she'll learn that she does not need to be out all the time.
Oh, as for her swearing she isn't sexually active, she probably is. My friend in high school was valedictorian, honor student, everyone thought she was so perfect and even she had sex in high school. My sister is younger than I am, her friends are your daughter's age, and they were almost all sexually active by 15, sad huh :(
Good luck to you. I promise it will get better. My father and I had the worst relationship when I was 16 and now we get along great… there is hope for you and your daughter!
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Your daughter was me 4 years ago... - Ashley
