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This is sadly too common. Your daughter is pushing your bottons in a big way.
I remember being that age and partying it up. One day it just became very boring and that was the end of it. Sadly, many people I knew didn't have it quite that easy.
My first real love and a friend of his were killed from DWI at 19. Not only did they hit a car with a family of 6 (who managed to live), the rest of us had 2 funerals to go to. The priest for my boyfriend's funeral was actually his uncle!
The pattern she displays is not good. Many "good girls" hit this age and venture into situations which they're ill-equipped to handle.
My guess is that she's doing plenty more than she says. It's not that she doesn't love you.
I have no idea how expensive it is to get a drug test done on her hair, but that may be one avenue. Of course, it'd be easy to get hair from a brush, etc. I have no idea how you could get a UDS unless you simply asked her point-blank for one (since she claims she has nothing to hide). I'm just not buying it, I'm sorry to say.
About 2-3 years ago a friend of mine from high school was found dead in her apt. from alcoholism. This was one of the girls who had parties at her house in high school. She didn't even live to see 50 and died alone, sick, and miserable. When I found out from another friend I was surprised at first, but started retracing backwards and it was clear as a bell. Her father was an alcoholic. We didn't realize the significance of alcoholism in previous generations like we do now.
I also agree with another post I read about that this is "your" home, so she needs to abide by your rules. Of course, Dr. Phil says that all the time, too.
I can't have kids, but I remember being one. Speaking of Dr. Phil, maybe you could check his boards, too.
It's so frustrating to get to this point, but just know that many here will support you and offer as much advice as possible, even if it may be from an MT without kids.
Please keep us posted, and best of luck to you. |
You're the parent, she's a minor child - Oh, No.!
