I was reading the posts below and some pretty heated discussions. Everyone seems to have an opinion and I feel bad for the people who give their opinion and then are jumped on by others. The only thing I could possibly add is do what you feel is right. Emotional scars go very deep, and its true that once things are said (or written) its very hard to forgive. I remember years ago (19 years ago) I got called into a room by my MIL who proceded to tell me how much she always hated me and if I turned her against her son she would find me and kill me - this was after I told my husband (not in front of her) we don't have the money to pay our bills and we can't keep taking her out to eat with unlimited pitchers of beers. He's the one who told his mom we couldn't go out to eat cos we didn't have money. Anyway...those words she said still haunt me and the memory is like it happened yesterday. Words hurt very deeply and the emotional scars will always be there. It sounds like you are getting counseling and that is good. Don't know if your kids are also getting counseling but that might help them too. Good luck to you.