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1) I was on the phone with my boyfriend sitting on a no-back barstool. I was rocking back and forth against the wall when the barstool went out from under me. It not only went under me, the leg came back to jam me up the rectum. Of course I dropped the phone and immediately started yelling, IT HURTS, IT HURTS!! My boyfriend stayed on the phone all that time and my mom had to pick it up and tell him I'd have to call him back later I just gave myself an impromptu colonoscopy. Talk about red!! My butt hurt for like a week. I couldn't even poop for 2 days after that.
2) My boyfriend (now husband) and I were making out in an orchard one night. Afterwards, he took me home and the next morning I awoke to find my entire backside covered with poison ivy. I also noticed I was missing about $60 I had shoved into my pockets the night before. I immediately called my boyfriend and explained that it must have fallen out of my pocket in the orchard. Since $60 was a lot of money to me then (now it barely fills up my tank), I asked him to go back and look for it. Lucky for me he found it and I used it to buy some Calamine lotion. Man, did my butt itch for a week. We still laugh about this one.  |
Here's a couple for you -- you pick! - mtroadie
