Yes he is a good man - not 100% but for the most part
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Posted By:
Ms. Guilt trip on 2008-04-20
In Reply to: What do you think - Ms. Guilt trip
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Just felt I need to do another post to let you know a little more info. Our days consist of talking over current events, watching movies and laughing. We joke around a lot (maybe 30-40% of our day). We talk of things that interest us, what we want, where we want to be. Things we have done over our years together. Our days are probably pretty typical of anyone's life.
Maybe I shouldn't have even wrote anything in the first place. Sure we have our differences of opinions. Sure what he did was pretty crappy - actually way beyond crappy. No he is not trying to keep me from my family. I think what he is most afraid of is something will happen to the plane and I will be gone. He is not like me (independent). He depends on me for a lot. We do have our differences of opinions as I'm sure other couples do. I'm not making excuses for him, but no, I'm not going to take 25 years and just divorce him. Yes I do have a problem with confrontation (it literally makes me ill and I end up sick to my stomach). In my younger years I had no problems with telling someone exactly what I wanted to, but as I get older I find it not worth the headache and getting sick. I just cannot stand it so avoid it at all cost. Of course there have been times where I have gotten so totally p.o.'d at him that I stand with my fists clenched screeming GD it and so forth because just felt like my head would blow. That has happened 4 times in 25 years that I can remember and all 4 times he realized I was serious. We do argue, he listens and most of the time turns around the situation to benefit him (at least that is how I perceive it), but this is not every day of our lives. I would say we have "differences in opinions" maybe once every 3 or 4 months. So maybe I mistated myself in my original post, maybe my PMS was setting in. Maybe I'm overreacting and have absolutely nothing to worry about.
On a different note, my DH does tell me often that I am a very intelligent person, I am strong, I know what I want and that keeps him grounded. He tells me to keep him in line if I feel he's getting way out there. I understand the struggles he is facing in his life (used to be in some pretty high positions (military officer, manager positions, etc), however we do not live in an area or time where any of that is of interest to him. He is struggling with the "what do I want to be when I grow up", but I often hear a lot of people going through the same things. I listen to him, sympathize with him and then I tell him what I think. He listens. Of course it may not "stick" but he listens and a few days later he will tell me "you know you were right". That's why I wonder if he is going through a mid-life crisis at times. He has never ever once been violent or shown any tendencies towards violence. He hates violence and when he hears about it on TV he gets so angry and tells me what he thinks should happen to guys who are violent towards their spouses, children, animals or whatever. He's never raised a hand (I'd beat him to a pulp first). He has never even gotten so upset that he hits an object or kicks a box or anything. In fact, if anyone has a temper out of us it's me (inhereted that little bad puppy from my mom), but I've never done anything more than clench my fists and yell at the top of my lungs (which i'm sure my christian aunt who lived across the road from us got an ear full when I was yelling at the top of my lungs G*d F*ng D*mn it. HA HA Anyway...we do have things at times we should work out. I will read more self help books but no I won't go to a counseler (no money for it) and no I'm not going to divorce him. Yes sometimes I do feel like I'm living in hell, but for the most part I have a good life. At times I feel like maybe I'm the one going through a midlife crisis (no kids, belong to no groups, have no friends here - just me and the PC). DH says I should get back involved in a quilt guild here so am looking around the area (we just moved here a year ago).
Thanks for all the input I've received. I have freinds back east who are just like all of you... "you tell him this or you demand that or you threaten that you will leave him". I'm like...yeah, right, all I need is another argument.
Anyway...thanks all, just felt I had to post again to let you know a little more about what I'm going through. Like I say, maybe I shouldn't have posted anything. Just felt a bit down at that time. I can keep you posted as to what happens. Will be telling him later she's coming out. |
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Follow-ups:
- What do you think - Ms. Guilt trip (Views: 275, 2008-04-17)
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 Yes he is a good man - not 100% but for the most part - Ms. Guilt trip
- stop it - jlynn (Views: 62, 2008-04-18)
- Abuse - Lilly (Views: 53, 2008-04-18)
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