It seems abundantly clear to me that your sister feels your dad is an inconvenience to her "independent" lifestyle. What she said to your dad is disgusting and no parent, I don't care HOW terrible things are, deserves that.
Meals on Wheels can actually be part of independent living in a good way. The meals are brought into the house, meaning that someone besides you checks on him during the day. I have known of older folks who enjoy their meals drivers and aides and the extended human contact it gives them outside of their families. The same could be said for a paid home health worker.
Your dad probably feels like he is a burden and it didn't need to be repeated in the form of your sister's words. You don't want him to feel surrounded by strangers and you want to do the caretaking yourself...but your dad's outlook might improve if you felt that he was not burdening you and had a wider social circle with that. He might feel as if you have more quality time to give him too.
What you may feel is quality of life might not be his. A nursing home is out because he wants to remain home. There are ways to make this possible and have the best of several situations. |
I have to chime in and agree sm - Lyndia