My husband is a very intelligent man, but for the past 20 years we have had the same issue as you. Interestingly, my husband has a problem with anger also. What I have learned is that there are times my husband has been desperate for a connection with me and that is just the first place his mind goes. It doesn't matter how many times it is explained to him that women need other kinds of affection, it's in one ear and out the other.
In my husband's case, part of it is that he is just plain selfish. He was a spoiled child and doesn't like the word no. I, on the other hand, was 1 of 6 kids and was never used to getting anything I wanted. Quite a combination. We also have the issue that I was sexually abused through my entire childhood - not a few isolated events, but ongoing over 12 years by my stepfather - and so I REALLY need to feel valued aside from sex.
Try to remember when he is groping you, in his own shallow way, he is trying to show you he loves you and he wants you to show him you love him. If he won't change his actions, maybe you could try to interpret them the way they are probably meant in the first place.
Bless you! |
I know exactly how you feel. - another sad MT
