However, why post if you were wrong and then defend yourself to the opinions that were posted???? I don't get it. My parents had an open door policy. No matter what, they stuck by my decisions. I moved out twice and moved back in before getting married when apartment life did not work out for whatever reason. I did not move out when I was 16 though as my parents were responsible for me until I was 18. Once I turned 18, they still let me move in and out and I also always had a key. I had a key to the house they lived in, and then I had a key to my Mom's independent living apartment after she sold our family home when our Dad passed away.
I think there are more issues here than you want to admit. I think if you tried counseling instead of arguing with your son about a key, then you may get to the root of the problem. The fact that you won't allow him access to your home symbolizes that you don't want him around unless you are home. You are now telling him that his home is no longer his home by taking the key away.
I think that it is just understood that once one moves out on their own that the original home is not their home, but they are still welcome. I don't think you want to welcome him into what you are calling your home.
When we bought our first home and had children, we became a team. We are a family and even though my husband and I pay the bills, we do tell our children that this is "our" home. They help with chores and that's the best they can do.
I don't want to go on and on, and I'm not bashing you here. I just think you may want to consider some help from something other than this board. You may want to try a church or a counselor to help you with your teenager. I'm sure none of us here are saints by no means and we need to support one another here.
My Mom used to say "You are born, but you're not dead yet." In other words, anyone here can state their opinions on the rearing of their own children, but not until you die can you say "that never happened to me"! My Mom would say this when I would give judgemental remarks of others. This was to open my eyes to the fact that the very same thing I am talking about could happen to me!
Lots of luck and love to you! I certainly hope there is a way to keep an even ground with your son. Blood is thicker than water... |
Keys - Son - Living with Daughter - I know you are sorry you posted.
