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I was an orphan for years. My mom died 3+ years ago and my in-laws are probably happy about it as now I don't go up as often (dad remarried) but I still do try to go up 3-4 x a year-- 4 hours away. I still get grief from them whenever I want to see my family (dad, 2 brothers). What peeves her is I stay there for a few days; I'd say 4-6 when my mom was alive and it just ate her up though she saw/sees the kids generally every 4-6 weeks and I do go there and have them spend the night too (1 night only and I stay there as well). Holidays were a nightmare until we just told her, no we cannot see you every time, and we just would alternate TG and X-mas between my parents and his parents....she still wasn't happy, tough cookies. Last year we spent 12-23 there, got up drove to my dad's on Christmas Eve, stayed there 1 night, did not even see my dad on X-mas because his wife has to spend X-mas with her kids/grandchildren (that is a sore point with me as it seems I will never see my dad on X-mas ever again--she won't budge); then drove back to my in-laws and spent Christmas day with them.....total pain in the butt. This year though we are not going anywhere though my dad asked up for for Christmas Eve (only), I said no, I would come after on the 27th or so and stay 3-4 days; this way I can visit with my dad and brothers and see some friends as well. My MIL will, of course, get bent but tough luck. In a way I look forward to not having to play this game, and swear to share my kids with their in-laws w/o all the garbage I have to go through. |
I know how you feel, my MIL I know has wished - sm - 
