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I would just be honest with the MIL and let her know how upset the girls get before having to stay over and suggest that maybe they just spend the day and come home at night. Too bad if you seem selfish...they are your children and you only want them to be happy. My ex-MIL seems much like yours...She got her way ALL of the time and if for some reason something didn't go her way...I was always the one to take the blame. I became tired of the controlling behavior and told HER that way it was going to BE from now on (this was after her son and I were through)...I did not care how she felt about it at that point because I had stuffed my feelings and my wishes away to accommodate hers for so long that I didn't enjoy holidays as I should have. I regret those lost years. I think she was trying to make up for the years she was raising my ex and basically neglected him and his brothers and wanted to redeem herself with my children. Needless to say...my son has a relationship with her, but my daughter, who is the youngest and was not treated as well by her, sees her maybe once a year, whereas my son sees her weekly. My son had been forced to spend time with her, while my daughter did not. I would pick her up when she would cry at night. Maybe I should have made her stick it out, but this woman was not nice to my daughter in the least. This was even confirmed by my son. So...what the kids get out of their relationship with their grandparents is totally up to the grandparent's efforts. I think it should be a positive experience...If not...skip the overnights...just visit for the day and she will have to deal with it. Who cares if you are the mean one in your MIL's eyes...You are a mother first. |
don't beat yourself up about this.... - tinkerbell
