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My husband and I bought this house 10 years ago - it is almost 50 years old. We talked about our intentions of remodeling - I didn't know he meant over a lifetime. We have not even painted all of the rooms yet, much less fixed the sagging floors or termite-eaten pantry. The house is too small for our family now as well, is on very busy road, and there are no children around for my kids to play with. On the positive side it is in a good area and we have a very large yard. I have been asking to move however, since about a year after we bought the place. Instead, he has insisted that we are now here for life. He has built himself a barn, dog pens, chicken coops, etc. and enjoys practicing shooting out in the yard with his hunting dog, when he is home and not out hunting or fishing. He is an educated engineer and has a very good job, and I had no idea that he would end up being such an avid hunter. I met him in another state and he did none of this back then - I dated him for 5 years before we got married, he only hunted about twice a year when he visited his dad. Then we moved back to his home state, NC, and it all spiraled from there. Our yard is full of rolls of wire, chicken pens, stinky dog pens and piles of wood and bricks. Our carport is filled with a camoflauge john boat, rubber waders and about 100 duck decoys. In the freezer are wings from ducks that he uses to practice his dogs with. My children and I would love to just live in a neighborhood and have other people to talk to and for the kids to play with. He says the kids only want to move because they have heard me say I want to move. He told me recently that if I really want to move to go ahead, without him. He will support me and the kids. He hopes to find a woman one day who "will like where I live." I have no say whatsoever and he doesn't even consider my opinion. He says "we can't afford to move" and this place is just the right distance from his job. Yet he asks me to take out a loan to add on to this house. He is willing to spend another $100,000 to add on to a house where no one else wants to live and says it is unfair for him to have to move just because we want to. Yet he will not take the same money (we have lots of equity) and just move us somewhere else. What would you do? Should I just stay here and make the best of it because this is where he wants to live? (I should add, if I want to buy anything to fix up the house, I have to pay for it, and if I have enough money to do that, he wonders why I am not responsible for more of the bills!)
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