first step
[ Post a Reply ] [ View Follow Ups ] [ Work At Home Moms ]
Posted By:
elaine on 2008-06-14
In Reply to: God knows when I need Him! - brookeb
|
|
Brooke: I want to commend you on going to church and the strides you are making to show a good example. But that may not be quite enough. It sounds as if your husband has an inkling that he needs to make some changes . However, I do still think that the suggestion for martial counseling with your pastor is important. From some of you have said it does sound like there are a few more seriuos issues than him simply taking you for granted. You make it sound as if he is controlling all the fiances and your behavior and actions through that. Now I understand being frugal but you stated he can spend what he wants but you afraid to even ask for 20 dollars to joint a Mom's support group. I am not sure you realize how wrong this is. A husband and a wife a supposed to be a team - not one person controlling the other. It sounds like you are faithfilled couple. Some churches teach the husband is head of household. Again, if this is your belief wonderful! But remember head of household and spirtual leader doesn't equal abusiveness, or contorlling his spouse through fiannces, belitting etc... You personally might need to seek some help because you stated in the past you had a problem with overspending and depression. Then stated you were recovered and bascially being "good" now. But remember, again you are to be viewed in terms of "good" or "bad" or imply you deserve certain treatment do to past mistakes. In the end you shoudl provide for your future. I think every woman does need a saftey plan for financial security. Working part-time would provide you money to buy some things for yourself and also to join group. You need social support. Right now you are essentially isolated other than your husband and family. What about joinign a MOPS group through church? I am not sure, but dont' think there is a charge. You need a group of supportive peole other than your husband. Keep going to church - maybe your husband might get into the men's minsitry. This could serve two-fold. He could see and model from Chrisian men how they interact aand also how they treat their wives. It would also give him a social outlet.
The two of you going out without kids is also good.
remember so a combinatin of things. One thing (such as date night or occasional church service) isn't going to work. Pray together. Have yourchurch family pray for you.
I undersatnd divorce is not an option. I salute your committment to your marriage but your husband has to be as committed. It cannot just be about YOU making changes. So pray for his change of heart and try to actively involve him.
YOu must communicate with him. Not yell, no walk on egg shells.
If you are afraid to talke to him why? Has he been abusive/ Were you abused in the past by someone? AGain if this the case you need immediate intervention.
Bottom line God asks men to love their wives but he did not say "control" their wives or "belittle" their wives. Women should suport and love their husbands as head of household but not be afraid of them or cower to them.... |
Reply By E-mail ||
Post QUICK reply [ See Related Messages ]
Follow-ups:
|
first step - elaine
