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Hello: I am married to a recovering alcoholic/drug addict, sober for 24 years. Your husband needs to,unfortunately hit rock bottom before he gets the help he needs. I have been in your shoes, but my husband was not verbally or physically abusive. After three tries in a drug/alcohol rehab program, he finally got it, because I told him, it is the alcohol or it is me and our son. He chose us, got the help. I knew there was good person under the booze/drugs and I stayed with him, even though my family and his told me to leave him. But, if you enable him, he will continue to drink. I don't know what your SO's rock bottom would be or whether you should leave or not, because I am not in your shoes, and did not have abuse in my life. Is there any way you can take children away from him and his abuse. I did enable my husband before I knew what to do. It is a long struggle and a hard one and only you can decide when enough is enough and where to seek help. I would never allow abuse in my home, but everyone is different as to what they call abuse and what they can tolerate. Good luck. Al-Anon did not help me, but AA did help me, when I went with my husband. My prayers are with you and your life. Remember, there is nothing that you have done or have said to make this person verbally or physically attack you, and you did not make him drink. Alcoholism is a disease as is drug addiction and only once that person admits that he has a problem and seeks help can he/she be helped. When people do not understand addiction the first thing they will ask is "what did you do to make him go out and drink/use drugs." I did nothing, but I did enable him by providing him a place to sleep and gave him my car to use, that is enabling. They are also so sorry the next morning and promise never to do it again, and unfortunately that usually is not the case.  |
alcoholism - grayingMT
