Trip to Wal-Mart
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Posted By:
Need A Laugh? on 2007-07-17
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the
house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting
the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty.
Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes
on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch,
old t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old
pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project
you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to
help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do
the following.
In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry
your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean
clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab
of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just
might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout
lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the
register.
In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.
Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much
else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in
the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite
cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the
register is the kid sister to someone you went to school
with.
In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long
enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put
on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the
register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking
she is spicy.
In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off
your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't
want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in
the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore
because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the
register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you
still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is
from your buddy's bait shop and it says, "I Got Worms".
In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose
off the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered
when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on
so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl
running the register may be cute but you don't have your
glasses on so you are not sure.
In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they
have your prescriptions ready too. Don't' even notice the
dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register
smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again.
Now you remember that you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to
Wal-Mart and wonder around trying to think what it is you
are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone
called out your name. The old lady that greeted you at the
front door went to school with you.
In your 90's:
Stop what you are doing.
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