Idi__ Sightings! (Comedy Stop, of course!)

TOO FUNNY!!!
(Had to remove the bad word - last two letters o..t! I hope this does not offend anyone. It's all done in fun. Let me know if it does and I won't post something like this again. Of course, the moderator might let me know first!!! Have a great day and try to stay warm!)

IDI__ SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that
one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the
opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears
made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you
need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said,
"NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."
We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDI__ SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave
the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way
you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the
manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back
the quarter, and said I owed $4.25 and he was sorry but they could not
do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and
75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDI__ SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING
sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out
here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing
anymore."
From Kingman , KS

IDI__SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City

IDI__ SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To
which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He
smiled knowingly and nodded,
"That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDI__ SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people
when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind
people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDI__ SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the
company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is
fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all
just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDI__ SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn
on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDI__ SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers
side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE , THEY DRIVE and
they REPRODUCE