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Dear dictating nurse practitioner, please organize your thoughts - before you start dictating!


Posted: Oct 14, 2014

I am not allowed to think for you!

Sincerely,

The Typing Zombie

 

I have done three extremely long H&Ps dictated by the same nurse practitioner and OMG.  She has dictated the entire physical exam and in the middle of dictating the extremities, she says, "He has been wearing O2 2 liters nasal cannula during the daytime hours."  No, go back up and put this in under vitals or respiratory.  Just, "There is peripheral edema.  Pedal pules are normal.  Skin is intact.  He has been wearking O2 2 liters..."  Then she says "his speech is normal with no slurring.  A little muffled when he's wearing his CPAP mask."  Well yeah!  Do we need to include that in the physical exam REALLY?!!

Sorry, I'm just hanging on by a very thin thread today with crappy dictation and just stupid, STUPID dictators who cannot seem to put a coherent sentence together to save their lives!  "He has TED hose worn."  And I'm typing VERBATIM so take that QA!  Have FUN!

Is it the same one - who dictates

[ In Reply To ..]
from her child's basketball game? Sneeeeeeeeakkkkkkkers squeakkkkkk. Whistles!!! She sometimes dictates from what sounds like Chuck E Cheese. Sorry for your day...

One time long ago, I had a doctor dictating - - sm - Lotus

[ In Reply To ..]
from his beach dune buggy, going up and down the dunes, engine roaring, kids in back squealing. Flaming ID!OT.

One time long ago, I had an NP who dictated - in front of the TV ...

[ In Reply To ..]
... in the evening, in front of the TV, with children screaming and programs blaring. She dictated during the commercials, so in between you had to listen to page flapping and her delightful family racket. See altho lisphed sewerely.

One fine night, in the middle of a thentence, see ewupted into a stwing of scweaming pwofanity. The f-word figured prominently in this, as did references to dogs' ancestry and blasphemy, as well as rude terms for anatomic parts.

It seemed that the kiddies' bunny wabbit had been roaming the room and had bitten her on the part she was seated upon.

Not only was this a delightful stroke of retribution, but I made a note of the dictation number and "please listen -- very inappropriate language. Obscenites. ?Policy violation?"

There were policies about inappropriate dictation, i.e., as well as a ban on removing records from the hospital. It was obvious from the recordings she had done both.

There were no further dictations from her, ever. I never saw her around the hospital again, either.



LOVED your story! - [Laughing hysterically] ;)

[ In Reply To ..]
.

I feel your pain. I type what they say. My job is not to - make them sound smart.

[ In Reply To ..]
I used to correct really egregious errors, but not any more.


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