I've apparently been given all the resources I need

I finally hit the wall at work. Took a call from my HDSM at the beginning of my shift to go into all the reasons I am human garbage and that our nitpicking, incompetent, scans-through-every-single-last-report-for-one-misplaced-word client personally hates me. Oh, and lots of other people, but only me. And other people. But just me. So yeah... a funtime was had by all.

I get that I'm not good enough for this account or maybe MModal in general. After being here so long and surviving so many mass firings, I can honestly say that better MTs went before me and perhaps I don't deserve to be in the last circle of survivors. But what I really hate is the condescending tone and statements like "I don't know why so many people don't listen to the client profile or my emails..." All the implications that the reason I messed up is because I don't care or I don't try. Statements like "I feel we've been really generous in trying to help you turn things around" and "We've given you all the resources you need to succeed, you're the only one who can save your job." After all these years, now I'm the person who doesn't try? Who doesn't listen?

And I've been given all the resources I need? Really!? A living wage so I can come in and not hustle to make money? QA who don't nitpick for putting "the patient" instead of "patient"? Speech recognition that recognizes human speech? A hospital who doesn't have a CP that reads like War & Peace? A program that actually works half the time and doesn't consume all my time with loading screens and broken mechanics (I begged to be put on Fluency, that says it all don't it)? I don't remember getting any of these things.

So I understand that they'll probably have to fire me. That my quality isn't up to their standard anymore. I can wrap my head around all that, as painful and degrading as that is already, but having to sit there and get treated like a child. To be told that basically I'm the reason the account that I never asked to do hates us, then told things like "Well, you need to slow down, lots of our people don't make their line quotas, it's fine," and "This is our most difficult account, only the best get sent here," and "They've been talking about dropping us for months because they're never happy with our work," and "I keep telling people to pay attention, but I guess no one listens." I hate this company. I don't know whether to be completely humiliated or so furious I pop a blood vessel in my eye LOL.

I like my HDSM. She's chopping me off at the knees here self-esteem wise, but I understand that it's just a combination of different opinions on what constitutes quality and the weight of middle management bearing down on her with enough pressure that she'll probably be crushed into a diamond within a few years while she tries to save this account, which is like trying to stop an Amtrak train by getting out in front of it and planting your feet down. I like my lead QA too. She seems like a really cool person. This company as a whole though? It's unbelievable. I asked to be transferred to the India team and was unfortunately turned down LOL. They also wouldn't let me train to become a speech rec machine, which I think I would be good at. I have a bunch of refrigerator magnets I can hurl at the wall and then use to make sentences.

I'll leave now with the inspiring words of the ASR machine tonight, I think it's something we can all live by: "His Goals to act the Guam element was active, L4-L5 blood. Today. 5th it hurt but birth the patient does. Wife dx. With wore off a toilet bowl. The infant guilt. Or alcohol use. He slouched with Daughter of blood developed. The beanbag was has dead with fork. Vietnam."

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I've apparently been given all the resources I need - MModal Livestock

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